Monday, June 26, 2006
and now, the sads.
this girl is sad.
it's sort of rainy.
we had a good conversation this morning that was like: here's me telling you what i need! wait, backtrack! let me restate that in terms that don't shoot blame lazers out of them!
except that apologizing and meaning it still means the lazered party is sitting at her laptop with some small weepies because even though she asked you, has been asking you to say the thing about the needs, she didn't expect it would come out quite that way.
plus, it was about our apartment. our beautiful tiny matchbox perfect messy in-process apartment. which . . . i think of the apartment as a symbol of our committment--in absence of the words "married," or a kid, it's sort of the biggest one: we bought this home together. as the monkey himself said at the closing, it means we're legally bound. i don't like the city, and i'm bad at hanging things on the walls, but i don't think framed monet posters are necessarily a signifier of . . . homeness. it is my home. it's our home. and i did that freaking kitchen remodel practically by myself and i helped pick out all paint and i asked you if you needed help with the spackling and you said no, and back when we bought it you immediately left to be an artist and left me there with all the boxes and no way to move in because we were supposed to pick everything out and fix it up together and i had to pick out the sofa without you . . . so i'm sorry you feel like i'm treating it like a hotel in Bad Place City, because i show off that apartment the way some folks flaunt their giant diamond rings. and i know i shouldn't need to but i'm sort of crappy that way.
we'll hang some photos. and i'll order the fucking bookcase. but next time something is this important, you should really tell me before it gets to be a year later and i freak out and then the therapist yells at me*.
it is so dumb to be crying about this. i don't know what to say. school is hard.
*he didn't yell. but he did get very stern, and i was scared.
it's sort of rainy.
we had a good conversation this morning that was like: here's me telling you what i need! wait, backtrack! let me restate that in terms that don't shoot blame lazers out of them!
except that apologizing and meaning it still means the lazered party is sitting at her laptop with some small weepies because even though she asked you, has been asking you to say the thing about the needs, she didn't expect it would come out quite that way.
plus, it was about our apartment. our beautiful tiny matchbox perfect messy in-process apartment. which . . . i think of the apartment as a symbol of our committment--in absence of the words "married," or a kid, it's sort of the biggest one: we bought this home together. as the monkey himself said at the closing, it means we're legally bound. i don't like the city, and i'm bad at hanging things on the walls, but i don't think framed monet posters are necessarily a signifier of . . . homeness. it is my home. it's our home. and i did that freaking kitchen remodel practically by myself and i helped pick out all paint and i asked you if you needed help with the spackling and you said no, and back when we bought it you immediately left to be an artist and left me there with all the boxes and no way to move in because we were supposed to pick everything out and fix it up together and i had to pick out the sofa without you . . . so i'm sorry you feel like i'm treating it like a hotel in Bad Place City, because i show off that apartment the way some folks flaunt their giant diamond rings. and i know i shouldn't need to but i'm sort of crappy that way.
we'll hang some photos. and i'll order the fucking bookcase. but next time something is this important, you should really tell me before it gets to be a year later and i freak out and then the therapist yells at me*.
it is so dumb to be crying about this. i don't know what to say. school is hard.
*he didn't yell. but he did get very stern, and i was scared.
