Saturday, November 15, 2008



so, i went to this endocrinologist and had, like, a thousand dollars worth of lab work done. i know! but insurance covered most of it. it looks like most hormonal stuff is where it should be, which is great, although it doesn't explain the hairloss or the, ahem, other stuff. mostly, though, i'm glad there's no evidence of anything seriously awry. my advisor cornered me a few weeks ago and asked if i'd lost a bunch of weight. apparently she's been telling everyone in the department that i'm skeletal. then last week she said i looked better, so. whatever. screw you, academia. i have this feeling that what's really keeping me down is ERUDITION, and once i bust out of here i will sprout thick wavy tresses and suddenly want to have sex all the time instead of never.

interestingly, the blood tests showed that i have high cholesterol. this is a serious bummer. the problem: i already do most of the stuff you're supposed to do to keep your cholesterol down. i hardly ever eat red meat, no egg yolks, i cram myself full of fiber, i go to the gym, i'm not carrying any extra weight. unfortch, it turns out that my genes are SO BAD that what would keep a normal person healthy only keeps me this side of borderline. this sucks because: when you don't eat a lot of saturated fat in the first place, reducing it further means no treats. or at least very few. and i live for treats. they're part of how i manage myself. i used to think that going to the gym was awesome because it meant you had earned permission to eat a little bacon. no longer true. good bye, bacon. goodbye, butter. we'll still see each other once in a while, maybe at the holidays, but it won't be the same. i'm going steady with oatmeal now. great.

i know, i know this is good for me. in the long run, i'm going to be way healthier than if i was one of those people who can eat whatever (i'm looking at you, the monkey). i'm just mourning the butter, just for a minute.

and then bucking up. this is hardly a health disaster. this is a health opportunity. get ready, world. i'm about to be one of those people who never eat fried chicken.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?