Tuesday, March 30, 2010



one day, a few weeks ago, i woke up with the most charming memory in my head. i was very specifically remembering this moment, at my twenty-sixth birthday party, when the monkey had entered the room (the packed, packed little room--most days i'm quite sure i'll never fill a room that way again) but gotten stuck in conversation about three feet from where i was stuck in a conversation. i reached a hand out to his hand, behind me, and gave it a squeeze. he squeezed back. we weren't dating yet; as far as i knew, we were just going to be best friends for life and never do any smooching. but i couldn't stand for him to be in the room and not say, very small, hello. i see you. and then now--or then, i guess, a few weeks ago--i woke up with the very pleasant memory in my head and rolled over (a bigger adjustment than you might think; i am of some momentous girth right now) and thought: hello. we see you.

Friday, March 12, 2010


yanking, growth, yoga.

one, it really feels like he's yanking on stuff, sometimes. i feel like there's no way that's happening, but it really feels . . . yanky. like, hey. maybe you don't want to do that, son.

two: the hair. i have hair! when we started trying, i had to stop taking the drug that makes my hair stop falling out. it had just started to get a little thicker, too, so i was bummed. everyone said there'd be this magical hair growth, but it didn't show up until later than i thought. now? i have college hair. this is the hair of a healthy twenty five year old. at first i was annoyed, because my haircut didn't last very long. but then i let it get past my jaw, and now i realize: when you have hair, it can be long. long thin hair is gross. long college hair, much better. i bought a big old round brush, and we'll see. this may be my last turn at shoulder length hair. i'm going to be so sad when it all falls out.

three: prenatal yoga. i might have mentioned that i picked a terrible time to fall off the yoga train--the first trimester was stressful and busy with the exams, but in retrospect i wish i'd been better. or better in the second trimester, when *none* of the yoga classes at the gym worked with my class schedule. i bought a DVD recently, and finally found an affordable community class, but it's so much harder now. this class i found? they're all, okay, ladies! put your arm over your head! and i do it, and it's hard, and i find myself hoping we're going to take a break soon. things are exhausting. thank god for my giant u-shaped pregnancy pillow, on which i've been taking daily drool naps. naps, i think i'll miss you most of all.

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