Saturday, December 31, 2011


guess what! still poorly getting it done!

you are shocked. I KNOW.

a chapter due at the end of the month, which is now, which could not be more . . . more specifically now, on new year's eve. i thought this would clear my head.

there were a couple of days in which it was pleasurable, the writing. i'm holding onto those, or at least trying not to forget. and gently reminding that that's what it's like when you work regularly, when the weeks before the chapter deadline aren't quite so fraught with actually creating the chapter. like, from scratch.

sometimes how hard this is makes me wonder if i will even enjoy this life, which by all accounts includes as much of this and of administrative headache as the doofy life of the mind or whatever. then i remember how much i like teaching. god, i really like it.

i also actually like writing. what i hate: having to prove my ideas are good enough. trying to act like i have ideas, when really what i have is love. i love this stuff, i love my subject, i love learning about it. i even still love theater. that's not the same as innovating, or even intervening.

okay. next post: less of this, and more of the amazing human being that miles is becoming. and christmas! oh, christmas. that was a good one.

in the meantime, on with the shitty first draft.

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