Sunday, January 09, 2011
i put this off because i'm having such a wonderful time living with you in the moment, whatever that means. for once, i feel like maybe i don't need to transform everything immediately into a narrative.
still, though, how will i remember some of this if i don't make notes? that you are great company. you tiny person, with your one-eighth tooth and your saucy, joyful grin. you have more hair now, but only on some places on your head. (kind of the places where your dad still has more hair, really.) you have his giant roast beef feet, still, and now his very slight cleft chin. hint-of-butt chin. you smile like him sometimes, with the crooked smile, but now a little more often do a big open mouth grin that he says is mine. you've started curling your tiny baby tongue to the left and poking it out of your mouth while you smile, while you stare. you blow raspberries all the time, full on with saliva showers. i tell you that you sound like a baby elephant. yesterday i discovered the first reliable all-verbal laugh cue: my terrible, terrible crazy wide french accent. and, strangely, the thing i say to make you crack up: AH WEEL DO EET . . . TODAY! i will do it today. yep.
you are unbelievable. your head still smells so good, but different. you look like you're growing up, like tomorrow you're going to ask us for a cheeseburger and a harry potter novel. you started crawling in the last few days. you were sort of . . . ooching around, and now, even though it isn't the standard one-two-three-four, you're really motoring around, and all four limbs are roughly taking turns. we have to talk tomorrow about baby proofing. or getting you some kind of baby-run. a corral. something.
listen. i love you. i knew i would, but i thought it would be a more one way street. i thought i'd just love you, and didn't realize about the . . . the you being good company, and how you make me happy when you laugh, and not even because i "did it," because i made you laugh, but because you are kind of a nice person to spend time with. sure, sometimes you're kind of a jerk (LIKE, GO TO BED, BABY. TAKE AN MFing NAP.). but most of the time: you are really delightful. you are just wholesome goodness. we adore you.