Monday, November 16, 2009


tropical dystopia.

the idea of writing all this down and publishing in bulk once the news was out seemed good, but it's difficult to get motivated without the potential for immediate recognition. i'm not sure why; it's not like the fours of readers that might stray back after the hiatus would rush to comment on the news that a lime-sized fetus* has rendered me completely unable to take a crap.


i'm in puerto rico, in the aftermath of an academic conference. which, the conferencey parts of it--the actual panel thing i was on--were quite nice. but the crappy hotel i booked to save money and the extra days i thought that saved money meant i could stay have combined to produce a too-long, too-shabby expanse of time-that-i-should-have-used-to-study. for my giant comprehensive exams which start on friday and for which i am feeling underprepared.

in fact, i should be doing that right now. but it's hard to do anything disciplined when all i want in the world is to be coddled a little bit--to be dry (it's humid and stormy; everything in my world is slightly damp), to have a hot shower, for the incredibly vulgar mosquito bites that dot my legs to fade, for my skin to be clear and luminous (thanks for the acne, fetus) and to eat something i made in my own kitchen.

* i get these emails from the american pregnancy association? i signed up for them; it's not like they're stalking me. these are the usual emails telling you what's going on in utero this week--which limbs are forming and moving, which body parts are fusing shut or dividing or differentiating or whatever. last week the chickpea was the size of a grape. this week, a lime. i think it went: aspirin, blueberry, grape, lime.which seems enormous. like, you can actually hold a lime.



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