Saturday, May 17, 2008
i will tell you one thing
i really like about the status quo, and that's: if you do the humanities right, grad school is the examined life. and unlike most times in my past when "examined life" meant "constant anxiety," what it means now is that i buy a lot of my clothes second hand and i eat a lot of beans and it is perfectly, perfectly fine. i feel more responsible to my own vision of what might count as important. i've let go of a lot of stuff and found out that i'm the better for it. and not in a make-lemonade way; in a thank-god-i-got-here way.
i mean, for the most part. i know there are days that i miss . . . well, shopping. for almost anything. nice steaks and orange juice not from concentrate. and travel remains the Big Wistful, and yeah, i wonder if our accrued student debt and laxity in retirement saving is really a great way to greet the future, but i'm serious about the day to day. i consume less than i ever have, although it's still quite a bit. and this less is not just okay, it's actually better. i have to be feeling good to admit it, but i know it's true even when i whine.
i mean, for the most part. i know there are days that i miss . . . well, shopping. for almost anything. nice steaks and orange juice not from concentrate. and travel remains the Big Wistful, and yeah, i wonder if our accrued student debt and laxity in retirement saving is really a great way to greet the future, but i'm serious about the day to day. i consume less than i ever have, although it's still quite a bit. and this less is not just okay, it's actually better. i have to be feeling good to admit it, but i know it's true even when i whine.