Wednesday, April 23, 2008
what matters, and what can take a fucking leap.
i missed a class today. for no reason, with no excuse. i forgot to go. this is one of the biggest no-nos in my field. departments are small, seminars intimate; you do not get out of jail for free. and it's a big deal. they don't meet that often, they're the core of the experience, they're you're highest priority, etc.
except, this wasn't a seminar. it was this semi-useless thing we have to do where everyone in the first and second years gets together and sit around a table and talk. it happens sporadically through the quarter, not every week; it's been on different days, at different hours, during each term. the meeting itself has no dedicated fuction; sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's useful, and sometimes--like this quarter, when my advisor started teaching it--it feels like the biggest waste of time ever. you know what was scheduled for today? seeing photos of a theatre being built in mexico and going downstairs to throw a surprise party for one of the administrative staff who i couldn't pick out of a lineup. fully half of what i missed was happy retirement cake.
Famous Feminist is old-school, and this was not the smallest infraction--i was mortified, truly--so i wrote an email of abject apology, telling her i'd send the office lady a personal note and asking if there was anything i could do to counter the effects of my considerable flake-out. her reply was exactly this long:
I am not pleased.
you know what? lady, fuck you. i take back the mortification. real things happened today, all over this world, and while i get that you can't act like a pedagogical no-no is as inconsequential as it actually is, some kind of functional response would have been appropriate. sorry i missed the fucking cake. i'm gratified to know that you have never forgotten an appointment, and that the useful thing i can do to make this right is to writhe unceasingly in my knowledge that i have misbehaved.
asshole.
except, this wasn't a seminar. it was this semi-useless thing we have to do where everyone in the first and second years gets together and sit around a table and talk. it happens sporadically through the quarter, not every week; it's been on different days, at different hours, during each term. the meeting itself has no dedicated fuction; sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's useful, and sometimes--like this quarter, when my advisor started teaching it--it feels like the biggest waste of time ever. you know what was scheduled for today? seeing photos of a theatre being built in mexico and going downstairs to throw a surprise party for one of the administrative staff who i couldn't pick out of a lineup. fully half of what i missed was happy retirement cake.
Famous Feminist is old-school, and this was not the smallest infraction--i was mortified, truly--so i wrote an email of abject apology, telling her i'd send the office lady a personal note and asking if there was anything i could do to counter the effects of my considerable flake-out. her reply was exactly this long:
I am not pleased.
you know what? lady, fuck you. i take back the mortification. real things happened today, all over this world, and while i get that you can't act like a pedagogical no-no is as inconsequential as it actually is, some kind of functional response would have been appropriate. sorry i missed the fucking cake. i'm gratified to know that you have never forgotten an appointment, and that the useful thing i can do to make this right is to writhe unceasingly in my knowledge that i have misbehaved.
asshole.
