Tuesday, September 11, 2007
ponders.
no jokes, please, but i hve been thinking. about the babies.
it's just that my logic always sort of ran: we'll get everything finished up, and then we'll procreate. we'll have good jobs, or . . . i don't know, jobs, and health insurance, and we'll be somewhere good and then, babies.
and i was sort of grousing about how by the time the degree is finished, i'll be clocking in at 35--which, i realize, is not exactly aged, even for babymaking, but the margin approaches squeaky. and then i thought about the logic of this, of moving into this subsidized married-and-family student housing where there is on-site daycare, when i will have assured health insurance for four years, when i will be for all intents and purposes "working-from-home"--maybe not so much during the two years of coursework, but during the proposing and writing of the dissertation, maybe. yes. by all means, let us wait to have a baby until this fresh hell has finished.
it's occurring to me, and not in my normal, anxiety-riddled manner, that one doesn't just put the good things off. not for no reason, anyway. i might really like having a baby. maybe even love it. i might be excited about it, even right now with my living room full of boxes and a shitstorm of packing enveloping my better nature.
a baby, you guys. it's entirely possible that i could do it.
it's just that my logic always sort of ran: we'll get everything finished up, and then we'll procreate. we'll have good jobs, or . . . i don't know, jobs, and health insurance, and we'll be somewhere good and then, babies.
and i was sort of grousing about how by the time the degree is finished, i'll be clocking in at 35--which, i realize, is not exactly aged, even for babymaking, but the margin approaches squeaky. and then i thought about the logic of this, of moving into this subsidized married-and-family student housing where there is on-site daycare, when i will have assured health insurance for four years, when i will be for all intents and purposes "working-from-home"--maybe not so much during the two years of coursework, but during the proposing and writing of the dissertation, maybe. yes. by all means, let us wait to have a baby until this fresh hell has finished.
it's occurring to me, and not in my normal, anxiety-riddled manner, that one doesn't just put the good things off. not for no reason, anyway. i might really like having a baby. maybe even love it. i might be excited about it, even right now with my living room full of boxes and a shitstorm of packing enveloping my better nature.
a baby, you guys. it's entirely possible that i could do it.
