Monday, June 25, 2007
wedding dreams i have had so far.
1. we are in the space, and the pre-event milling around melts into a party and we just have a big party until the lady tells me it's almost time for us to get out. i'm still in my street clothes, and i'm sort of peri-aware that we did not actually have a wedding, but it seems to be okay, like, well, it was a good party, and i'm sure that "marriage" thing will happen later. i herd everyone off the boat only to realize that we had twenty more minutes on our contract, and the lady was assuming it would take me longer to get the people off the boat than it did. i am incensed at being cheated of twenty minutes of party, and the evening is ruined. it does not occur to me until i wake up that the monkey apparently did not show up, and more troubling, i did not notice.
2. it is the day of the wedding and i decide it will be fun and romantic to take off by myself for some quiet time before everything speeds up. i decide the place to do this is discovery park, but i get lost getting there. i am lost and lost and lost, and there is all this traffic--i appear to be in some other city than seattle at one point--and i realize the the hour of my wedding is going to come and go and i will be stuck in the bucket seat of my white honda accord. i have no cell phone. i am the worst bride ever.
3. it is the weekend of the wedding and i am wrong about it happening on a sunday; it happens on a friday. because i have the day wrong, nothing is ready. i don't have my dress, i look gross, there's no booze, i am mentally unprepared. my mom gets this serious look on her face and i realize that the flavor of this moment is the story you hear about How Things Don't Go As Planned and you just have to suck it up and get married anyway because it's not about the stupid details. and i get very self-pitying about how i know i have to go ahead and get married cheerfully anyway, but i won't get to wear my dress or look pretty or do any of the stuff i planned.
4. we get married, and then afterwards realize we didn't exchange rings. i talked to kaufmann about this, and he promises to cue me if it looks like i'm going to drop that part of the ceremony.
5. we get married and it is the best day ever. i dance with my small friend bianca, i hold babies, i get hugged by my favorite people. it is one long chain of beautiful moments with people. then, suddenly, magically, everyone is gone and chris and i are walking off the boat to the parking lot in the very very quiet, still in our wedding duds. we take a detour into gasworks park and i realize that the entire city is still, that we're the only people moving. there are no cars, no birds, no wind; everything has stopped but us. i start to wonder what kind of alternate reality we're in, and then i notice that the lack of sound and movement is making me see things differently. all the trees are a different color than they were before, and things that are light are kind of glowy. my dress looks amazing, like i'm wearing a fairy. i turn to the monkey to ask him if he sees this, too, and there is light shooting out of him. all over. and suddenly i cannot believe that i have forgotten this about him, that he shoots light out of his body, that he is, literally, radiant. how odd, i think, that i could forget something like that, when it looks so familiar now that i notice it. and then i wake up.
2. it is the day of the wedding and i decide it will be fun and romantic to take off by myself for some quiet time before everything speeds up. i decide the place to do this is discovery park, but i get lost getting there. i am lost and lost and lost, and there is all this traffic--i appear to be in some other city than seattle at one point--and i realize the the hour of my wedding is going to come and go and i will be stuck in the bucket seat of my white honda accord. i have no cell phone. i am the worst bride ever.
3. it is the weekend of the wedding and i am wrong about it happening on a sunday; it happens on a friday. because i have the day wrong, nothing is ready. i don't have my dress, i look gross, there's no booze, i am mentally unprepared. my mom gets this serious look on her face and i realize that the flavor of this moment is the story you hear about How Things Don't Go As Planned and you just have to suck it up and get married anyway because it's not about the stupid details. and i get very self-pitying about how i know i have to go ahead and get married cheerfully anyway, but i won't get to wear my dress or look pretty or do any of the stuff i planned.
4. we get married, and then afterwards realize we didn't exchange rings. i talked to kaufmann about this, and he promises to cue me if it looks like i'm going to drop that part of the ceremony.
5. we get married and it is the best day ever. i dance with my small friend bianca, i hold babies, i get hugged by my favorite people. it is one long chain of beautiful moments with people. then, suddenly, magically, everyone is gone and chris and i are walking off the boat to the parking lot in the very very quiet, still in our wedding duds. we take a detour into gasworks park and i realize that the entire city is still, that we're the only people moving. there are no cars, no birds, no wind; everything has stopped but us. i start to wonder what kind of alternate reality we're in, and then i notice that the lack of sound and movement is making me see things differently. all the trees are a different color than they were before, and things that are light are kind of glowy. my dress looks amazing, like i'm wearing a fairy. i turn to the monkey to ask him if he sees this, too, and there is light shooting out of him. all over. and suddenly i cannot believe that i have forgotten this about him, that he shoots light out of his body, that he is, literally, radiant. how odd, i think, that i could forget something like that, when it looks so familiar now that i notice it. and then i wake up.
