Monday, February 27, 2006


here it comes now singing . . . whatever.

the rejection from UC Berkeley came over the weekend. large bummer. larger bummer: my immediate sensory recall of getting rejected from some of the country's top MFA programs, repeatedly; and subsequent gut-level feeling that i knew how this whole thing was going to go down, that once again the gamble was going to leave me face-down in a puddle, and it was going to feel very familiar.

not necessarily true. but: scary, and . . . i really wanted to go live on the west coast. boo. this also provoked a very interesting and non-pissy conversation with the monkey about how much fear of rejection is okay and how much is self-indulgent pessimism.

good thing 1, though: we talked about how the bay area was a legitmate option. i have previously gone on record about hating SF, but i know have a dear friend living there and i am older and wiser and not living with an asshole. i am no fan of california, but NoCal/BayArea sounds remarkably preferable to urinetown. i could get behind it.

and good thing 2: we held a paper tech at a diner this morning, using a lap top and two pairs of headphones, and sitting close to the monkey and doing theatre stuff i immediately realized that if we were not already shacked up, i would have the Biggest Crush Ever on him, which makes me intensely glad that we *are* shacked up.


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