Monday, December 05, 2005
phenomenology: do dooo da doo-doo.
if pouting is so wrong, why does it feel so right?
i'm having a little pudding (sounds like: pouting!). it's extra-calcium pudding, which sort of excuses, a little, the fact that it comes in a disposable, landfill-filling plastic cup and is probably more than one-fifth plastic itself. chocolate plastic pudding.
sometimes, things are not going right.
pudding, though, is going okay. pudding is a constant.
my new thing is phenomenology. i did not know this until a month ago, but apparently there is an entire branch of philosophy based on the reality of individual lived experience. i feel like this was custom made for me. i'm reading a lot. i think this is the part of performance studies that is mine. a phenomenological approach to gender performance. if i don't get into school, i may feel stupid later for stringing those words together like a pretend-smartpants.
someone recently told me that as long as conflict is about outcomes, it's a push-pull fight--like tug of war. his suggestion to my current dilemma is that i try to approach it without ego, and maybe spend some time thinking what it's like on the other side of the argument.
i love this friend, and his advice did not come out as . . . turn-the-other-cheeky as it sounds here on the page. but i was sort of stumped. it's hard for me to imagine this situation from a point of view other then my own. i mean, i have no other points from which to view. empathy is a good thing, but when i start to think about removing my own interests from the equation, i get dizzy. because there is no equation without my interests. with my druthers erased, it's just the ghost of a girl and some lonely guy living in new york with, i imagine, a whole different set of problems.
i'm having a little pudding (sounds like: pouting!). it's extra-calcium pudding, which sort of excuses, a little, the fact that it comes in a disposable, landfill-filling plastic cup and is probably more than one-fifth plastic itself. chocolate plastic pudding.
sometimes, things are not going right.
pudding, though, is going okay. pudding is a constant.
my new thing is phenomenology. i did not know this until a month ago, but apparently there is an entire branch of philosophy based on the reality of individual lived experience. i feel like this was custom made for me. i'm reading a lot. i think this is the part of performance studies that is mine. a phenomenological approach to gender performance. if i don't get into school, i may feel stupid later for stringing those words together like a pretend-smartpants.
someone recently told me that as long as conflict is about outcomes, it's a push-pull fight--like tug of war. his suggestion to my current dilemma is that i try to approach it without ego, and maybe spend some time thinking what it's like on the other side of the argument.
i love this friend, and his advice did not come out as . . . turn-the-other-cheeky as it sounds here on the page. but i was sort of stumped. it's hard for me to imagine this situation from a point of view other then my own. i mean, i have no other points from which to view. empathy is a good thing, but when i start to think about removing my own interests from the equation, i get dizzy. because there is no equation without my interests. with my druthers erased, it's just the ghost of a girl and some lonely guy living in new york with, i imagine, a whole different set of problems.
