Wednesday, November 30, 2005
the fizz means it's working.
i am pretty unconcerned with the stigma associated with both mental illness and the therapy/counseling realm. not completely, but relatively. just yesterday i spoke blithely with a nurse on the phone about my medication regimen while at my desk at work, which is actually a big communal table where we sit four-to-a-side.
i'm surprised, then, that i have trepidation about admitting that the monkey and i am embarking on the couples therapy. maybe this is because everyone i've ever known who's gotten couples therapy has gotten divorced, including the monkey. i actually think we are wise to get on this tractor and ride now, long before things turn dire (although i did feel medium-dire last week, i know we're not in the straits that people usually associate with the scary last-ditch-ness of copules counseling).
the guy is not the guy who will do the counseling, just the guy who does the intake and referral. but he was really kind and funny and generally someone you wouldn't mind having in the room when you're talking about your fears, dreams and intimacy problems (the best part was when he asked about our sex life and we both immediately grinned and made giant thumbs-up hands). i was afraid i would talk too much, and was actively trying to keep things sort of equal--the monkey talks, i talk; the monkey answers, i answer) but the nice therapist guy turned to me a couple of times when it wasn't my turn but i wanted to talk really bad and said "louella, what do you think about that?"
we had a pretty good time. i didn't want to leave at the end, because it was so, so good to talk. the last couple weeks were so sturmy und drangy, and then we got exhausted and truced and made up, and this was just some calm space in the middle where we talked about what was going on. i felt like the little grey carpeted room was full of magic communication beans. and it was really affectionate. and then we went out for burritos.
and then last night the monkey told me he'd heard something (something i often say, something that makes me feel like i'm harping) i said inside the guy's office in a way he'd never heard it before, and it was making him think. and i've been thinking about it myself. so i guess we're starting to get it done.
i'm surprised, then, that i have trepidation about admitting that the monkey and i am embarking on the couples therapy. maybe this is because everyone i've ever known who's gotten couples therapy has gotten divorced, including the monkey. i actually think we are wise to get on this tractor and ride now, long before things turn dire (although i did feel medium-dire last week, i know we're not in the straits that people usually associate with the scary last-ditch-ness of copules counseling).
the guy is not the guy who will do the counseling, just the guy who does the intake and referral. but he was really kind and funny and generally someone you wouldn't mind having in the room when you're talking about your fears, dreams and intimacy problems (the best part was when he asked about our sex life and we both immediately grinned and made giant thumbs-up hands). i was afraid i would talk too much, and was actively trying to keep things sort of equal--the monkey talks, i talk; the monkey answers, i answer) but the nice therapist guy turned to me a couple of times when it wasn't my turn but i wanted to talk really bad and said "louella, what do you think about that?"
we had a pretty good time. i didn't want to leave at the end, because it was so, so good to talk. the last couple weeks were so sturmy und drangy, and then we got exhausted and truced and made up, and this was just some calm space in the middle where we talked about what was going on. i felt like the little grey carpeted room was full of magic communication beans. and it was really affectionate. and then we went out for burritos.
and then last night the monkey told me he'd heard something (something i often say, something that makes me feel like i'm harping) i said inside the guy's office in a way he'd never heard it before, and it was making him think. and i've been thinking about it myself. so i guess we're starting to get it done.
