Wednesday, October 26, 2005
secret doughnut.
so, this place where i work gets occasional grocery deliveries. but not of groceries; of snack foods.
the cupboards are often *filled* with potato chips and granola bars and oreos and roasted peanuts . . . and each time the haul is a little bit different. for example, last time there were those odd blonde oreos instead of regular. and whenever a new stash is in place, people snack more than usual--because you never know when the snack crick will run dry, and it always stays dry about a week before another load hits.
so yesterday i was pawing around in there (if you're curious, this is what it has come to: i cannot afford to buy lunch at the deli, and so i've been scavenging the corporate kitchen), and there are entenmann's donuts.
i love those doughnuts (the package says "donuts," but i'm an old-fashioned girl). the ones with the vinyl chocolate coating? i LOVE them. the time tina saw me at the grocery store with nothing in my cart but diet coke, pizza and doughnuts? they were chocolate entenmann's. best doughnuts you can find in a box in the grocery store.
so they're in there, and i'm thinking: i work here. i eat the snacks. but i am afraid of being caught with a doughnut. i am afraid that i will be shamed. i don't know over what; surely it's no more objectionable to begin lunch on a doughnut than it is on a two-inch stack of pringles. and yet: fear of shame. so i wait until no one is in the kitchen, which requires three trips, and sneakily open the box while it's still inside the cupboard and slip one out. then i have to eat it while i'm pretending to look out the kitchen window at the college students playing tennis. i try to make my body language look like i am thinking: oh, good backhand, guy in blue!
but really i am stuffing in that doughnut. i am STUFFING it IN THERE.
and of course, my boss comes by. "good tennis?" she says.
"mmm," i say. "mrrph."
my doughnut scarfed, i return to my desk and get halfway through the afternoon before i have to pee and go to the ladies' room to discover that in my haste to get that doughnut in my mouth, i have smeared chocolate entenmann's coating ALL OVER my upper lip.
eating a doughnut for lunch: maybe not so embarrassing as looking like someone gave you a dirty sanchez on your lunch hour.
the cupboards are often *filled* with potato chips and granola bars and oreos and roasted peanuts . . . and each time the haul is a little bit different. for example, last time there were those odd blonde oreos instead of regular. and whenever a new stash is in place, people snack more than usual--because you never know when the snack crick will run dry, and it always stays dry about a week before another load hits.
so yesterday i was pawing around in there (if you're curious, this is what it has come to: i cannot afford to buy lunch at the deli, and so i've been scavenging the corporate kitchen), and there are entenmann's donuts.
i love those doughnuts (the package says "donuts," but i'm an old-fashioned girl). the ones with the vinyl chocolate coating? i LOVE them. the time tina saw me at the grocery store with nothing in my cart but diet coke, pizza and doughnuts? they were chocolate entenmann's. best doughnuts you can find in a box in the grocery store.
so they're in there, and i'm thinking: i work here. i eat the snacks. but i am afraid of being caught with a doughnut. i am afraid that i will be shamed. i don't know over what; surely it's no more objectionable to begin lunch on a doughnut than it is on a two-inch stack of pringles. and yet: fear of shame. so i wait until no one is in the kitchen, which requires three trips, and sneakily open the box while it's still inside the cupboard and slip one out. then i have to eat it while i'm pretending to look out the kitchen window at the college students playing tennis. i try to make my body language look like i am thinking: oh, good backhand, guy in blue!
but really i am stuffing in that doughnut. i am STUFFING it IN THERE.
and of course, my boss comes by. "good tennis?" she says.
"mmm," i say. "mrrph."
my doughnut scarfed, i return to my desk and get halfway through the afternoon before i have to pee and go to the ladies' room to discover that in my haste to get that doughnut in my mouth, i have smeared chocolate entenmann's coating ALL OVER my upper lip.
eating a doughnut for lunch: maybe not so embarrassing as looking like someone gave you a dirty sanchez on your lunch hour.
