Monday, October 10, 2005
the beam in my own eye.
when we were at disneykitchen last weekend, we had to wait in a long line in order to claim a credit we were due for some kitchen work we'd already paid for. when we reached the front of the line, the young african-american woman who helped us said we had to go pay for that day's purchases first, before she could issue us the credit. she must have seen our faces fall, because she quickly added that we didn't have to wait in the line again--we could just come back to her station directly.
so, we paid, which was its own twenty minute line. and then we went back to the returns/customer service area. but lo, she was not at her station. the monkey turned to me and said, do you remember her name? i think it started with L, i said. we waited. she didn't appear. then the monkey nudged me and said, there she is.
and he pointed discreetly at the other young african-american woman working the returns desk. um, i said. that's a different black lady. and the monkey looked at me like i had accused him of voting for strom thurmond.
"i'm just saying," i said. "that's not her." he harumphed and we kept waiting.
after another ten minutes, another young african-american woman came out to the returns area, and walked very close to where we were sitting. "that's her," the monkey said.
"actually, it's not," i said. the monkey was incredulous. "yes, it is! i remember her! and her name is lauren," he said. "begins with L!"
"but the woman who was helping us wore glasses, and had hair that was sort of two-toned, and . . . and also, she isn't her."
"are you sure?"
"yes."
"i still think it's her."
the monkey went to go ask a wandering salesguy if we could get some help rather than wait in the line again. when he got someone's attention, he motioned me over. "we already waited in the line," i said. and then this nice lady told us, yadda yadda.
"what was her name?" the disneykitchen employee asked. the monkey looked at me. "i think it began with L," i said.
"did she have glasses?"
"i think so, yes."
"sure. lisa. she's on break in the back, but i'll get her." and sure enough, lisa wore glasses and was neither of the two african-american women who didn't look like her.
the monkey got very quiet.
* * *
and i'm glad i came out looking okay in that story, because i went to a party at m0rgan freem@n's apartment on saturday (he was not there, but his obies were), and started talking about how much i liked him in _the royal tenenbaums_. luckily i was speaking only to the best one, who first thought i was making a joke, and then quietly pointed out that danny glover and MF are not actually the same black actor.
which means that the square of toilet paper i swiped from the bathroom and wrote "larry fishburne's TP!" on is probably worthless.
so, we paid, which was its own twenty minute line. and then we went back to the returns/customer service area. but lo, she was not at her station. the monkey turned to me and said, do you remember her name? i think it started with L, i said. we waited. she didn't appear. then the monkey nudged me and said, there she is.
and he pointed discreetly at the other young african-american woman working the returns desk. um, i said. that's a different black lady. and the monkey looked at me like i had accused him of voting for strom thurmond.
"i'm just saying," i said. "that's not her." he harumphed and we kept waiting.
after another ten minutes, another young african-american woman came out to the returns area, and walked very close to where we were sitting. "that's her," the monkey said.
"actually, it's not," i said. the monkey was incredulous. "yes, it is! i remember her! and her name is lauren," he said. "begins with L!"
"but the woman who was helping us wore glasses, and had hair that was sort of two-toned, and . . . and also, she isn't her."
"are you sure?"
"yes."
"i still think it's her."
the monkey went to go ask a wandering salesguy if we could get some help rather than wait in the line again. when he got someone's attention, he motioned me over. "we already waited in the line," i said. and then this nice lady told us, yadda yadda.
"what was her name?" the disneykitchen employee asked. the monkey looked at me. "i think it began with L," i said.
"did she have glasses?"
"i think so, yes."
"sure. lisa. she's on break in the back, but i'll get her." and sure enough, lisa wore glasses and was neither of the two african-american women who didn't look like her.
the monkey got very quiet.
* * *
and i'm glad i came out looking okay in that story, because i went to a party at m0rgan freem@n's apartment on saturday (he was not there, but his obies were), and started talking about how much i liked him in _the royal tenenbaums_. luckily i was speaking only to the best one, who first thought i was making a joke, and then quietly pointed out that danny glover and MF are not actually the same black actor.
which means that the square of toilet paper i swiped from the bathroom and wrote "larry fishburne's TP!" on is probably worthless.
