Wednesday, October 19, 2005
all things considered.
NPR: welcome to the studio, louella.
L: thanks, linda. it's a pleasure to be here.
NPR: let's jump right in. we hear you've stopped seeing your therapist.
L: that's right. therapy has been largely boring for the last six months. and i thnk this therapist is not helping.
NPR: but louella, given your propensity to go completely batshit, is this really fair to your family and friends?
L: i hear you, linda, i really do. but everything's been under control for a long time. i feel good about this, despite my former therapist's insinuation that i am walking away because we're on the verge of discovering something very important and majorly discomfiting. i'm just bored, and poor, and starting to want those saturday afternoons back for brunches and walks in the park. maybe a yoga class.
NPR: you've been taking a lot of classes.
L: yeah, i guess. the alexander technique class and the singing lessons and the career counselor lady. they're all new.
NPR: so is this a re-inventing of the self?
L: i think it's more like a bunch of classes.
NRP: i see. tell me about this meeting you have today.
L: i have a meeting with an agent.
NPR: that sounds exciting!
L: erp. yes. but i'm pretty scared. i already accidentally called this lady too many times and then insulted her assistant. she's still agreeing to see me, but i think i may have blown that first impression that you never get a second chance to make.
NRP: but you're so talented and charming. it is a mystery to me why you don't have representation coming out your ears.
L: you're too kind, linda.
NRP: i understand you brought us a clip. would you like to introduce it?
L: sure. since film work has been (cough) slim, this is a recording of a recent telephone conversation. to set it up, let me just tell you that it's roughly ten a.m., and i've already left two messages for this woman. roll tape.
>>{ring, ring, ring}
woman's voice, muffled: hello?
lou: hello, this is louella byrne calling for mary agent.
wv: . . . yes?
lou: . . . um, yes?
wv: . . . this is mary?
lou: oh! oh. i didn't expect you to answer your own phone. i thought it would be your friendly guard dog lady! ha ha!
m: my . . . what? wait, who am i talking to?
lou: this is . . . louella byrne?
m: and . . . i'm sorry, what did you just say?
lou: (slowing turning to stone) um, your very kind receptionist--she usually answers the phone, and . . .
m: something about . . . some kind of dog?
lou: um.
m: listen, i've gotten both your messages and you're on my call list. could we say that i'll follow up on this with no further contact from you? i'll get to you as soon as i can.
lou: that sounds great. more that great. i mean, thanks.
m: and her name is lucy, and she's my assistant, not a receptionist.
lou: right, i'm sor--
m: and don't call her a dog.
lou: right. of course.
-30-
NPR: wow.
louella: i know.
NPR: good luck today.
louella: yeah. thanks.
L: thanks, linda. it's a pleasure to be here.
NPR: let's jump right in. we hear you've stopped seeing your therapist.
L: that's right. therapy has been largely boring for the last six months. and i thnk this therapist is not helping.
NPR: but louella, given your propensity to go completely batshit, is this really fair to your family and friends?
L: i hear you, linda, i really do. but everything's been under control for a long time. i feel good about this, despite my former therapist's insinuation that i am walking away because we're on the verge of discovering something very important and majorly discomfiting. i'm just bored, and poor, and starting to want those saturday afternoons back for brunches and walks in the park. maybe a yoga class.
NPR: you've been taking a lot of classes.
L: yeah, i guess. the alexander technique class and the singing lessons and the career counselor lady. they're all new.
NPR: so is this a re-inventing of the self?
L: i think it's more like a bunch of classes.
NRP: i see. tell me about this meeting you have today.
L: i have a meeting with an agent.
NPR: that sounds exciting!
L: erp. yes. but i'm pretty scared. i already accidentally called this lady too many times and then insulted her assistant. she's still agreeing to see me, but i think i may have blown that first impression that you never get a second chance to make.
NRP: but you're so talented and charming. it is a mystery to me why you don't have representation coming out your ears.
L: you're too kind, linda.
NRP: i understand you brought us a clip. would you like to introduce it?
L: sure. since film work has been (cough) slim, this is a recording of a recent telephone conversation. to set it up, let me just tell you that it's roughly ten a.m., and i've already left two messages for this woman. roll tape.
>>{ring, ring, ring}
woman's voice, muffled: hello?
lou: hello, this is louella byrne calling for mary agent.
wv: . . . yes?
lou: . . . um, yes?
wv: . . . this is mary?
lou: oh! oh. i didn't expect you to answer your own phone. i thought it would be your friendly guard dog lady! ha ha!
m: my . . . what? wait, who am i talking to?
lou: this is . . . louella byrne?
m: and . . . i'm sorry, what did you just say?
lou: (slowing turning to stone) um, your very kind receptionist--she usually answers the phone, and . . .
m: something about . . . some kind of dog?
lou: um.
m: listen, i've gotten both your messages and you're on my call list. could we say that i'll follow up on this with no further contact from you? i'll get to you as soon as i can.
lou: that sounds great. more that great. i mean, thanks.
m: and her name is lucy, and she's my assistant, not a receptionist.
lou: right, i'm sor--
m: and don't call her a dog.
lou: right. of course.
-30-
NPR: wow.
louella: i know.
NPR: good luck today.
louella: yeah. thanks.
