Thursday, September 22, 2005
schenkman, how i have loved you.
ben schenkman got married. i knew this was coming, but still: oh. chances were always slim that ben and i would make a go of it, but i guess they are even thinner now.
speaking of not getting married.
you guys have, for the most part, been very polite about this, but some poeple are not so polite. it's a common question when the monkey and i are out together. it's amazing how people who barely know us will occasionally pop out,
when are you kids getting married?
and we never freak out, and we usually change the subject, but the answer is always
fuck if we know!
i don't like talking about it, and that's not because i think it's a bad idea. i don't want to talk about it until we are Ready To Talk About It, and that won't be when some yutz brings it up over cocktail peanuts at an opening night reception. and until then, let's just shutthefuckup about it so that it doesn't become old hat or some sort of drabby grey foregone conclusion so that when we're thirty-five and forty-two, you lamely suggest while we're waiting in line at the dry cleaners, "hey, you wanna . . ."
remember when your acting teacher used to keep saying, "raise the stakes! raise the stakes!"? if you already know the answer to that question, the stakes are not that high when you finally ask it. there is no dramatic conflict, no risk. and you, my friend, my friend that i sleep with, my monkey, you need to have something on the table when this question comes out. i love you, but are sometimes what we call a scaredy cat. when you are ready to ask this question, it will be a very meaningful day--and sure, partly because it's how i always imagined it happening in my Barbie Dream Gazebo, but also it will mean so much to see you step up.
we are not there, my friends. we are on awfully good ground, and i am very pleased but i am not fooling myself: we are not there yet. even though when the monkey and i were talking about how ben s. got married, i said:
"do you think he stepped on the glass?"
"oh, definitely."
"really? what if he's not religious?"
"it's a tradition."
"for everyone? so, what, are we going to do it?"
pause.
"not that we're getting married."
"not that we're jewish."
speaking of not getting married.
you guys have, for the most part, been very polite about this, but some poeple are not so polite. it's a common question when the monkey and i are out together. it's amazing how people who barely know us will occasionally pop out,
when are you kids getting married?
and we never freak out, and we usually change the subject, but the answer is always
fuck if we know!
i don't like talking about it, and that's not because i think it's a bad idea. i don't want to talk about it until we are Ready To Talk About It, and that won't be when some yutz brings it up over cocktail peanuts at an opening night reception. and until then, let's just shutthefuckup about it so that it doesn't become old hat or some sort of drabby grey foregone conclusion so that when we're thirty-five and forty-two, you lamely suggest while we're waiting in line at the dry cleaners, "hey, you wanna . . ."
remember when your acting teacher used to keep saying, "raise the stakes! raise the stakes!"? if you already know the answer to that question, the stakes are not that high when you finally ask it. there is no dramatic conflict, no risk. and you, my friend, my friend that i sleep with, my monkey, you need to have something on the table when this question comes out. i love you, but are sometimes what we call a scaredy cat. when you are ready to ask this question, it will be a very meaningful day--and sure, partly because it's how i always imagined it happening in my Barbie Dream Gazebo, but also it will mean so much to see you step up.
we are not there, my friends. we are on awfully good ground, and i am very pleased but i am not fooling myself: we are not there yet. even though when the monkey and i were talking about how ben s. got married, i said:
"do you think he stepped on the glass?"
"oh, definitely."
"really? what if he's not religious?"
"it's a tradition."
"for everyone? so, what, are we going to do it?"
pause.
"not that we're getting married."
"not that we're jewish."
