Thursday, September 22, 2005
messing about with boats.
i am not always jumping up and wanting to do stuff. i really like staying home and reading, or watching netflix in my pajamas. i do not enjoy going to "clubs." but if you tell me you know of a boat i can get on, i am all over that shit. i will miss ER and put down _anna karenina_ (week seven; 5/8 inch left) for that.
k.to called and asked if i wanted to come to a birthday thing for her friend maria. maria had decided that, for her birthday, she wanted all her friends to come on this SOLSTICE CRUISE run by the friends of hudson river park association. even though it was not the SOLSTICE, or the EQUINOX or whatever, but the day before those things, but the boat company had made a typo in the literature and now they had to have the cruise on the wrong day!
it was fun.
i got there way early and bought a few cheap domestic beers. the boat was a little creaky, and full of old people and smooth jazz. and the scent of marine fuel. we each got a pink ticket for THE BUFFET. THE BUFFET included penne pasta with salt, pepper, and jalapenos; chicken parts (YOU ONLY GET TWO); potatoes ("no potatoes, thank you." "no potatoes?" "no, thanks." "you don't want any potatoes?" "um, no." blank stare. "i, uh, don't like potatoes." "you don't like potatoes?"); and a whole-wheat dinner roll (YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE ROLL. "what if i didn't have any potatoes?" "YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE ROLL." so i took five butter pats.).
and best of all, this older guy NARRATED the whole voyage with stories about Points of Interest on the Hudson River. and i cannot reproduce for you any of his actual narration, because it wouldn't work in written form. but it was very soothing. i do remember that he mentioned that recently pollution in the river had decreased enough that the striped bass had come back ("you know those striped bass you eat in the restaurant? they all winter here, in the hudson river!" GACK.). then he told a couple of jokes, the second of which was an ethnic joke about adam and eve!
i lied. that is not best of all. best of all is that the birthday person was this really lovely woman who i would totally be friends with. i love when that happens. not very often do i walk into a situation where i'm trapped in a confined space with old people and strangers and find it entertaining, but this time i did. because boats are magic.
plus, i got to say "starboard" three times.
k.to called and asked if i wanted to come to a birthday thing for her friend maria. maria had decided that, for her birthday, she wanted all her friends to come on this SOLSTICE CRUISE run by the friends of hudson river park association. even though it was not the SOLSTICE, or the EQUINOX or whatever, but the day before those things, but the boat company had made a typo in the literature and now they had to have the cruise on the wrong day!
it was fun.
i got there way early and bought a few cheap domestic beers. the boat was a little creaky, and full of old people and smooth jazz. and the scent of marine fuel. we each got a pink ticket for THE BUFFET. THE BUFFET included penne pasta with salt, pepper, and jalapenos; chicken parts (YOU ONLY GET TWO); potatoes ("no potatoes, thank you." "no potatoes?" "no, thanks." "you don't want any potatoes?" "um, no." blank stare. "i, uh, don't like potatoes." "you don't like potatoes?"); and a whole-wheat dinner roll (YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE ROLL. "what if i didn't have any potatoes?" "YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE ROLL." so i took five butter pats.).
and best of all, this older guy NARRATED the whole voyage with stories about Points of Interest on the Hudson River. and i cannot reproduce for you any of his actual narration, because it wouldn't work in written form. but it was very soothing. i do remember that he mentioned that recently pollution in the river had decreased enough that the striped bass had come back ("you know those striped bass you eat in the restaurant? they all winter here, in the hudson river!" GACK.). then he told a couple of jokes, the second of which was an ethnic joke about adam and eve!
i lied. that is not best of all. best of all is that the birthday person was this really lovely woman who i would totally be friends with. i love when that happens. not very often do i walk into a situation where i'm trapped in a confined space with old people and strangers and find it entertaining, but this time i did. because boats are magic.
plus, i got to say "starboard" three times.
