kerouac says

the kieran. he is my favorite. don't tell the other babies, but it's true.

didn't stop me from dropping him. he does this thing where he likes to "walk," supported by two grown-up hands for balance and to support his wait. he loves it. he wants to do it constantly. and it's easier for me than for anyone else, because i am closer to the ground and can give him my hands without having to bend over.

except he let go of one hand and leaned over and his sweaty little finger slipped right out of my hand, and his forehead fell right into a tower of plastic blocks.

i broke him.

not a lot. he's fine, with a tiny cheek abrasion. but i feel like i've soiled my auntie reputation. sigh.

my two friends who made him, though, it was so interesting to see them turn into 100% parent. they were on it. they say they don't feel different, but they are totally. parents. now.


so. i'm home.

and it's good, too.

the monkey and i were so happy to see each other, we danced. i have to say, i may talk a lot about what i haven't got, but sometimes i shouldn't. because i am so stupid happy with this guy. you wouldn't believe.

i can wait.

i can wait for a little while.