Tuesday, July 05, 2005



i've tried to avoid writing about the haircut, but i can no longer refrain. kids, it is so bad. it is actually two bad haircuts in one: a funny razor-ed bob on the top, with this mullet-like stringy fringe of longer hair underneath that sort of resembles seaweed. the whole thing has been thinned within an inch of its life. i used to have a couple of thick pig tails on either side of my head; now i can make one single dinky spray of hair on the back of my head, one that sort of resembles the ponytail you see on the heads of small dogs.

i'm contending with the salon about the fifty bucks it cost to look this bad. there have been plenty of times i've made a bad hair move--chosen unwisely, communicated badly--and taken my lumps. this one, however, was not my fault. i was clear and articulate. we agreed at the start that the general shape of the hair would remain the same, and that there would be no short layers. then, apparently, the stylist had a lobotomy while i was being shampooed. then, while she was putting the finishing touches on the travesty, she burned me with the hair dryer.

it is so lame to act like a bad haircut is a very large deal. i am trying to make it only a medium-sized deal. but i really do want to wear a bag on my head when i leave the house. if it wasn't summer, i'd be investigating wigs. and so help me, if this place does not see fit to hand me back fifty dollars, i am going to dispute the credit card charge and go toilet paper their salon.


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