kerouac says

the one who's least afraid came to the city for a week, and it was grand. mostly grand to have her on my couch in my little apartment in queens. of all the friends, the big ones, she's the one i'm most often so protractedly away from. that makes couch and coffee time somehow more the more satisfying, although the traipse through manhattan's value clothiers was nice, too.

i saw her dance, and i felt like it must feel when you see your kid up there. it just melted me, seeing her face. one of the ways i know her is by knowing what she looks like in motion, and it'd been a long time. she was always good, but she got gooder. gooder and grown-up. and, man, she is one of the most beautiful things.

i got this sort of mildly inappropriate clinginess, watching her. it's happened before, with the pretty princess and the best one and some other friends, so i have to believe it has more to do with what is and isn't going on in my own life, that i feel the need suddenly to give someone a kidney to prove how much she matters to me. i'm sure it's because things are iffy right now in my own doings. but i'm also sure it was because she's intrinsic, she's built-in, and she's necessary. in this sort of basic, indoor-plumbing kind of way, life would seem like a big step backwards without her.