Tuesday, March 29, 2005


come out, come out.

i'm looking everywhere for the thing that will make the different. voice lessons. new pills. a plan. i'd like to be unquestioningly hungry for something i can work for and then get.

in the midst of it all, the monkey continues charming. we went to the berkshires for the weekend, figuring cheap motel nookie was easter's most glorious gift. we rambled, we ate, we gave each other candy in baskets. on sunday we had brunch with friends of mine who have produced a beautiful baby. we watched this baby grokking his bouncy seat for a long time, and then the monkey said, "i want one."

really? i asked. you really want a baby? the monkey has been nothing but ambivalent about potential babymaking, even going so far as to intimate that the only real reason to procreate is that i find it necessary and he'd hate to make me unhappy. i started to get tears and i touched him tenderly on the arm.

and he said:

"i meant the bouncy seat."


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