Tuesday, January 04, 2005
a margaret atwood moment.
today i waited in line for two hours out in the drizzling cold. and lame it was, because very few other actors showed up looking for an audition slot, so we could have come at ten a.m. instead of seven and gotten the same place in line. i missed my sleep, i had a bizarre and troubling pain in my neck and shoulder, and by the when the sign-up time came and went and the Equity monitor had to sign us up on the cold wet street outside the theatre because no one showed up on time to let us in, i started fuming. it didn't help that the monitor was rude. we signed up and then hightailed it into the just-opening barnes and noble to sit down somewhere warm and spend my last three dollars for a hot chocolate.
and then i got inside the theatre, finally, and i was feeling ill-prepared and cold and achy and angry and could really see how the whole experience was going to work out in multiples of bad: so much effort and early alarms and waiting and rain only to deliver something mediocre is way worse than just plain mediocrity alone.
except it was good for once. not just for once, because i've been quite happy with my auditions for the last few months, but for once the person in charge thought it was good, too, and instead of looking at me with casting director game face (which looks a lot like "you have something hanging out of your nose"), she looked at me and smiled and said, "wow. that was really good. really very good." and then she sat me down and talked to me for a few minutes and wrote things down and confirmed my phone number and made me watch her write a large "VG" on the top of my resume and circle it.
and then she told me i was pretty.
for reals.
and then she thanked me for starting her morning off so well, told me again how good it was, and i left the room. and i made it about four minutes before running-eth over with big dorky tears because sometimes when something good happens unexpectedly, it's like being punched in the guts.
i don't care if she was lying her ass off. i don't care if she complimented every hack who came through the door, or if she just wanted to get into my pants. everyone should have a morning like that.
and then i got inside the theatre, finally, and i was feeling ill-prepared and cold and achy and angry and could really see how the whole experience was going to work out in multiples of bad: so much effort and early alarms and waiting and rain only to deliver something mediocre is way worse than just plain mediocrity alone.
except it was good for once. not just for once, because i've been quite happy with my auditions for the last few months, but for once the person in charge thought it was good, too, and instead of looking at me with casting director game face (which looks a lot like "you have something hanging out of your nose"), she looked at me and smiled and said, "wow. that was really good. really very good." and then she sat me down and talked to me for a few minutes and wrote things down and confirmed my phone number and made me watch her write a large "VG" on the top of my resume and circle it.
and then she told me i was pretty.
for reals.
and then she thanked me for starting her morning off so well, told me again how good it was, and i left the room. and i made it about four minutes before running-eth over with big dorky tears because sometimes when something good happens unexpectedly, it's like being punched in the guts.
i don't care if she was lying her ass off. i don't care if she complimented every hack who came through the door, or if she just wanted to get into my pants. everyone should have a morning like that.
