kerouac says

my boss came back from china a month ago full of reports about various cultural differences and one big toilet difference. at the hotel where he stayed, which was not particularly tony, there was this magic toilet that would shoot jets of warmed water and puffs of clean warm air onto your bum. he kept talking about it. and then he ordered one.

actually, he ordered two. one for home, and one for the office. he took a break from the maddening christmas rush around here to install it, and i swear i've never seen the man so happy. it's actually a special toilet seat that gets installed on a regular crapper, with jets for air and water and some sort of heater. there's a wireless remote that controls the air and water. it looks sort of like an oldschool nintendo controller, but with a giant orange button on one side that looks like it launches some cruise missiles. there's a sticker on the toilet seat lid that said, "zoe: the washlet." we were all sent into the bathroom one by one to try out the washlet. i had to admit it was an invigorating experience, although i'm not sure what any of the controls do except for the big orange button.

small perks. i'd rather have dental, but the washlet is better than nothing.