kerouac says

let me tell you about tonight. tonight i am going to dye my hair. and take a bath. i bought pedicure implements and a tube of mudde masque, which i think is french for mud mask. i am also going to eat a light soup and salad dinner and then watch a movie with a few glasses of bourbon. after tonight is over, i'm going to sleep in and then get out of bed and play with my birthday presents.

eat it, rest of the world.