Saturday, June 12, 2004


like i care.

i'm feeling oddly apathetic about things that used to excite me. i used to write in this blog every day. i used to make mental notes during the day about what i'd jabber down here . . . now, it's getting harder. i often just don't wanna.

for another thing, the show. i was pretty excited to be cast, but it's wearing oddly thin. it must be a combo plate of it not being my favorite format, the long nights and the ceaseless three-night-a-week routine--all spiced by my poverty, and how i'm willing, possibly to have two jobs but not three. especially when one doesn't pay.

if we were making what the chicago cast makes, i'd stick it out. although if that were true, we'd also have some administrative support and a good relationship with the keepers of our performance space, all of which is sadly lacking in brooklyn. but i'm sitting here wondering where my hard-earned cash escapes to around this time every month, trying to visualize getting another part time job while essentially donating three nights a week to an sort of unfulfilling theatre experience.

maybe what i need is a long break. i'm still shy of actually saying i want to quit. it's not like other performance opportunities are waiting in the wings, although i hope some'll crop up. and i like the people, and they're my first new york friends who aren't actually from somewhere else i lived. sigh.


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