Saturday, May 24, 2003
how can i love people so much and become a frustrato with them so easily once their return love is in my hand?
scary piece of truth that i would rather not say: being secure in unconditional love brings me way closer to contempt than i'd like. i can watch myself have a scant hairball's worth of patience for someone who maybe simply isn't in the same mood i'm in, and think:
so uncool.
but stopping it is another story.
i'm not so unreasonable. i don't get mean mean. but i think i'd be a whole-step easier to love if i could get over this.
the monkey says he picked up a self-help manual in a bookstore months ago because it had "how to keep your long-distance relationship healthy" emblazoned on the cover. there was an entire chapter on phone sex. the monkey was intrigued. (insert here the sweet self-conscious dance we did about the phone sex, the nervousness on my end not because i didn't want to, but because the ether would hear the usual sweaty cliches coming out my mouth and would cross me off the Pulitzer list forever, or perhaps simply because i don't believe i can carry off the word *cock* with the necessary chic.) the phone sex chapter consisted of one paragraph, saying that there was no such thing as long distance sex.
sir author, we pity you.
scary piece of truth that i would rather not say: being secure in unconditional love brings me way closer to contempt than i'd like. i can watch myself have a scant hairball's worth of patience for someone who maybe simply isn't in the same mood i'm in, and think:
so uncool.
but stopping it is another story.
i'm not so unreasonable. i don't get mean mean. but i think i'd be a whole-step easier to love if i could get over this.
the monkey says he picked up a self-help manual in a bookstore months ago because it had "how to keep your long-distance relationship healthy" emblazoned on the cover. there was an entire chapter on phone sex. the monkey was intrigued. (insert here the sweet self-conscious dance we did about the phone sex, the nervousness on my end not because i didn't want to, but because the ether would hear the usual sweaty cliches coming out my mouth and would cross me off the Pulitzer list forever, or perhaps simply because i don't believe i can carry off the word *cock* with the necessary chic.) the phone sex chapter consisted of one paragraph, saying that there was no such thing as long distance sex.
sir author, we pity you.
