Thursday, April 24, 2003
last night i was all . . . oh, swamped by fears and idgies and crawly spiders of doubt, the kind that are generated in the poison part of the brain, the part where the neurosis tumor strains at its chains. and after thinking that i'd said something that sounded like yes without meaning to, and then realizing i must have actually meant it and it was a happy accident, i had to say it on purpose and mean it and i hesitated, i felt like not doing it. the spiders were all over me.
and today, i heard some words that completely turned me around. you don't have to get a haircut! you don't have to change your shoes! you don't have to put the seat down! you don't have to eat prosciutto! miles and piles of you, unadulterated you! how petty it is to let the stupidfear crawl on the best thing you've ever had? good god in heaven, when you know, you know. what are you waiting for? how many thunderbolts? the biggest, the glowingest, the overpowering part is the joy. doubt is dog doo that hitched a ride on your shoe.
get off your maryjanes, little piglet. this love is not a spun-sugar rose. drool all over it and mash your face in. this is nourishment.
and today, i heard some words that completely turned me around. you don't have to get a haircut! you don't have to change your shoes! you don't have to put the seat down! you don't have to eat prosciutto! miles and piles of you, unadulterated you! how petty it is to let the stupidfear crawl on the best thing you've ever had? good god in heaven, when you know, you know. what are you waiting for? how many thunderbolts? the biggest, the glowingest, the overpowering part is the joy. doubt is dog doo that hitched a ride on your shoe.
get off your maryjanes, little piglet. this love is not a spun-sugar rose. drool all over it and mash your face in. this is nourishment.
